Introduction to Magic
In many western countries people are terrified of the idea of witchcraft. An individual with the power to heal, or to change the world around them upends their reliance on the structures and systems that hold many down. And so we relegate magic to screens and stories in our collective cultural imagination. We believe the lie that magic is not real, because we choose to believe that magic is incantations and parseltongue. As a queer pagan, I can assure you that magic is real. It just might not be what you think it is.
I believe that magic is the power to change the world. It’s not done with incantations or with fancy spellbooks (although sometimes it’s fun to channel that style), it is done by directing energy with intent. Anyone who has ever felt a ‘vibe’ in a room has been aware of energy. It is a palpable force that dictates presupposed norms at every level of analysis: systemic, colonial, cultural, social, and individual.1 Magic is the ability of every person to work with that energy and to work toward social change and healing.
This is - of course - easier said than done. In the 21st century, it can sometimes feel like social change is impossible. I feel that in my work every day, and every time I open a news app. It is exhausting to dream of a better world when the world around us seems to be falling apart. Magic may feel too optimistic, too naïve. My answer to that: it is, and it should be. To change the world we need a healthy blend of optimism and pessimism. It’s the only way to strive for a better future. How can we be working for a better world if we can’t even envision what one might be like? This balance was perfectly summed up by a 20th-century Italian Marxist thinker who rallied against the fascism of Mussolini. Writing from a prison cell, Antonio Gramsci reflected on the essential qualities of pessimism and optimism necessary to enact change in the world.
The challenge of modernity is to live without illusions and without becoming disillusioned. I’m a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will.
- Antonio Gramsci
So to do magic we don’t need a fancy incantation or spellbook, we need something even harder to come by. Pessimism of the intellect but optimism of the will. It is a delicate balance and one that is increasingly being silenced by apathy in the 21st century. It is exhausting to live in between these realities, and the world asks us to accept a pessimistic future. But I know that we can change the world. Despite everything that is happening around us, I have seen the power of optimism of the will in my predecessors in movements for liberation. I know we can do magic.
So when I talk about Shadow Magic, this is what I’m referring to. The collective combined power of individuals to change the world by directing energy with intent.
What We Do in the Shadows
Ok so I’m writing a blog about queer magic, why isn’t it called “Rainbow Magic” or “Glitter Magic” or some other derivative from queer culture? Why “Shadow Magic”? I’d like to begin to answer this question by sharing a poem I wrote earlier this year about my relationship with my queer identity, and the ongoing process of coming out.
In Praise of Shadows
I am not in the closet
I am in the shadows
These in-between spaces
That stand still on the edge of light
I am not in the closet
I am in the shadows
Where colors blend into hues of gray
That you have never even thought to see
I am not in the closet
I am in the shadows
Where I stand arrayed in magnificence
Tassels of anticipation reaching out towards my crown
I am not in the closet
I am in the shadows
Where I stand stronger than any mountain peak
And watch in serene silence
I am not in the closet
But I praise these shadows
These havens, these guesthouses
For those who the light cannot touch
Not yet
I have become increasingly uncomfortable with the language around being ‘in the closet’ as a queer person. To me it implies inaction, and betrays the complicated reality that is queer life. We have many concentric circles of coming out, and of being and becoming as queer people. Some may only be out in certain spaces, or with certain people, or even only to themselves, none of this suggests inaction.
As queer people I believe we are inherently magical. We push back on systems that would silence us just by existing. We change the world by waking each day. For many in the queer community the hard work of change doesn’t happen in the ‘sunlight’, but happens in the shadows. We put energy out into the world from our place in the shadows, and quietly perform magic.
So what do we do in the shadows? This is a massive question, that will hopefully be the subject of this Substack. I want to explore the beautiful inner shadow work2 that queer people do every day by choosing not to live into normative social systems that would oppress their bodies and minds. I want to explore the ways that the overculture desires clean lines and brightness, illuminating every corner of life in uncomfortable light, and the ways that queerness brings beautiful shadows back into the contours of living.3 Perhaps most importantly, I want to explore the ways that change can occur from the margins, creeping out in fractals. Essentially I want to explore the question: what does it mean to do shadow magic?
A Final Note
So as I embark on the journey of exploring shadow magic I want to provide some form for folks who will be reading and engaging with it. As a community organizer, an active musician, and an artist, I don’t have much free time. I’m hopeful that I will be able to keep this Substack updated regularly (my goal is at least every other week), but I cannot make any guarantees. Sometimes I will need to prioritize my work, my artistry, or my own self-care. That being said, if you subscribe, I can promise you regular content. I will be updating this whenever I am able, and I am so excited to begin exploring shadow magic together.
If you have any questions or ideas, please don’t hesitate to get in touch at hyacinth.bellerose@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!
Owen Temby (2015) What are levels of analysis and what do they contribute to international relations theory?, Cambridge Review of International Affairs, 28:4, 721-742, DOI: 10.1080/09557571.2013.831032
Mayer, B. A. (2021, July 27). Do you have a dark side? Shadow work experts say yes. Healthline. Retrieved July 20, 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/shadow-work
Tanizaki Jun'ichirō. (2021). In praise of shadows. Sopra Books.
*Disclaimer - This book does not deal with queerness directly, and is coming from a bit of an outdated worldview. I cite this to show the intellectual heritage of my curiosity. It’s worth reading in my opinion, but is certainly not perfect.*